Growing pains

Have you ever made a strong resolve to do something only to realize shortly after that –

Blossoming

shoot, I missed my goal flat out? You set this massive target. I am going to work out more, read more, be a better friend, work harder, or whatever it is. Then a few days after some intense focus and consistency you fall flat on your face and even wonder what gave you the audacity to imagine that you could do such great things with yourself.

That is the huge risk that comes with having goals. You know that you know that you just fell short. That’s one of the most humbling and probably shameful things in the world.

One of my biggest goals this year was to be more resolute because I realized that was the only thing standing between me and my amazing future. My words for the new year were generativity and mindfulness and basically the heart of that was to fuel me to be a more resolute person- who enjoys every moment and expects the best out of life and just GOs.

In between all of that I had and still have to keep letting go of so much baggage- all the fear, self-doubt, comparison, letting people make you second guess yourself, letting little nuisances spoil your day/steal your joy, over-analysis paralysis etc haha. I started to believe that the future is bright regardless of any fear or doubt or worry or failure.

I learnt that we are actually all those great things we want to be. We are strong, we are beautiful, we are bold. Our task is not to be these things, but to drop all the extra ‘stuff’ so that who we already are can be more obvious. It is basically a journey of becoming who you already are.

Sometimes we forget our own stories of overcoming. A few days ago I was thinking about the past few years of my life- from surviving the scariest natural disaster I have experienced in my life, to moving to new countries on my own, to being sick, to lots of failure in so many shapes and forms, to working through numerous loose ends and knots, and the list is endless.

Sometimes we forget how much we have grown and changed and we don’t give ourselves enough grace. We place so much expectations on ourselves, we compare ourselves to others,  and don’t even allow ourselves time to grow into a more beautiful version of who we currently are.

Instead of telling ourselves our stories of overcoming we dwell on all the reasons why we are not enough. I have found that as I have loved myself even despite the things I am not yet, I come closer to being all the things I want to be. On the other hand, when I put myself down, all I do is drag myself down.

Have you tried talking to yourself and being a good friend to yourself? Most times we bully ourselves- pulling ourselves down for every little thing, even though we are nice to other people. So now when I over think things or something annoying happens to me, I stand up for myself and tell myself that the future is bright and everything is ok, and its not that bad and I am strong and I am beautiful.

As I look back, I realize that even though I feel like hiding in a cave when I fall on my face, over time I see that I actually am growing.

So now I have faith in the process- that if I keep putting some work into cultivating my life, my attitude, my dreams, I will look back again and see I have come far.

What’s your latest goal that you are sucking at and falling flat on your face about? Its all growing pains, but the point is, you are growing and you are moving forward.

Never give up on yourself. You can expect the best. You can take your dreams a notch higher and work hard for them because no one was created to be mediocre.

Just keep cultivating that garden that is your life, keep pulling at the weeds, keep feeding it, and give it some time. You’ll see something beautiful.

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