With their cheesy lines and naive glee
those big screen stories made no room
for this, this mourning of something lost
this crossbreed of terror and passion surfacing
where those actresses would be only smiles
She stared at the stranger at home on her left hand
it blinked back even in the candle’s ambient glow
A part of her wished to be the night’s centre piece
the other wished to be the ambience, existing
only to set the mood for the main event
She felt too weak to embrace all this
It overwhelmed her, the prospect of changing
her story, his story, her people’s story
What would all she now carried evolve into?
What would she lose? What would become strange?
What was she forgetting? Who was she betraying?
‘Diamonds’, he whispered like she didn’t know
into the pregnant wide-eyed silence
Where was the logical sense in grieving
as a rite of passage into something beautiful?
It didn’t stop them from falling
Each one a salty mish mash of longing and missing
of primal desire and her instinct for flight
‘Yes’ she said, after the fact
She kept saying many ‘yes’es; ‘yes’ upon ‘yes’
‘Yes’ to silence the unwarranted no
from the creature of comfort called her ego
She loved this man, and deep in a place
you could find only after much digging
She knew how precious it was,
this understated thing that only they shared
so she cried because the risk of losing him
was so much more than this weakening fear
of embracing her impending evolution.
– To Pelumi
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