As night falls the sliver between me and the deep melts into just a thin transparent thread. All the waves in the underbelly of the ocean face the night’s searching light and have me in over my head. Clarity comes in ways it had not been asked to; in ways I had not thought of welcoming, like a thousand ships scattered all over this tumultuous ocean. Winding around sharply, thrusting themselves into its slick fluid surface in the thick of the night, daring the ocean to move and rock and respond. And it does.

All the things once thought to be taken care of,neatly sorted, in firm grasp begin to rattle and ask to be let out. They were not as tightly held as once believed. I protest. Hold on tight. They protest. More rattling until I give in, even to the possibility of becoming a monster.

I have let my shiny bracelet shatter to little beads scurrying free across the floor. And welcomed the possibility of the undertow, and drowning. Its too late to stop now. I have let go. Let the little defiant ships provoke me into an outburst of whatever lurks beneath. And it was not a monster, but a human being set free

I pass through the night unfiltered and it passes through me unfiltered. A little death.

Morning comes as it always does. A little resurrection.

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