How to be popular in three steps

I have a confession to make. Initially when I started this blog, it was just for me and a few good friends to have fun. Eventually I started getting a few views and likes and I thought, ‘wow people must be liking something here’.

Then I started checking my stats and then guess what? Sometimes when I didn’t get as many views I would be a bit disappointed. So one of my confidantes told me, ‘Ok you are not allowed to check your stats for the next couple of days.’

Sounds vain? Well we all have our moments don’t we? From checking the Facebook likes to twitter follows etc. At first its fun then it traps you.

We know that being popular on its own is not necessarily the most fulfilling thing in life but there is actually nothing wrong with being popular so if you want to be popular, keep reading.

How to be popular.

1. First of all identify your strengths and values.

What are those things that bring you alive? What are those things that satisfy your soul and bring life to you instead of leaving you drained? For me, some of my values and strengths are creativity, adventure, contribution and growth. You can only learn these by being a student of your own life- by being open to diverse life experiences and seeing how they inspire, challenge, depress, grow you etc

Values cut across many things. For example,  my need for adventure might surface in my love for new experiences and also might surface in my desire to not be told what to do or think but rather come to my own conclusions myself.

My value for contribution shows in how I like to be of help to a friend and also to share my lessons learned with others. So you see they might look different but at the root of it all you will see common patterns that show you the things that really make you feel fulfilled and in the absence of which you feel stifled.

When you are trying to figure out what to do with your limited time, you can have a more fulfilling time/career/hobby by finding the use of your time and skills that helps you express those things you are strong at and value.

2. Grow your strengths 

Now that you have identified the things that make you come alive, you want to work on them so that you build your confidence and proficiency. Growing implies constant learning. You already have the advantage of interest so you keep building these over time in a very disciplined fashion. When you work on your strengths, you build your self-esteem, you expand your comfort zone and you have more to offer to others.

Not only that, as you put your best foot forward with your strengths, you don’t just attract people for the sake of attracting people, but you make genuine connections that cut both ways. They say you are the average of the 5 people you spend your time with. So imagine that you begin to grow in your strengths, guess the people who you will be surrounded with? People who are also strong and value those your gifts.

3. Be a giver

While you are at it, you want to give as much as possible. The more you give, the more that comes back to you. When you learn, share. Sharing not only helps you to absorb the lesson you have learnt, it also helps you open your world to more people and to step out of your comfort zone. If you are good at connecting with people, instead of connecting with other people just for your personal network, you can help connect other people who may have common interests. As you use your skills generously, you build them, you learn more, you work on your weaknesses and guess what you have become? A person of value.

The best way to be popular is to be a person of value. Why?

First of all, when you are a person of value, you can always gain whatever you lose. For example if you become sharpen your entrepreneurial drive, even if you lose all your money, it is a matter of time before it comes back to you. If you are great with people and you happen to lose all your contacts because you just moved, it is a matter of time before you meet other amazing people. When you become a person of value, your popularity is not superficial because it is not dependent on others- you know who you are, you are confident in it, and by virtue of who you are you will always keep attracting what you need. When you become a person of value, people are drawn to you, you don’t have to force it.

So instead of getting excited about spikes in page views (that is for mediocre people 😉 ) I want to be a person of value because that way I have more fun, both of us grow together and it is a win-win.

Confession done : )

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